Hopeful Lament: Tending our Grief Through Spiritual Practices

Reviewed by:

G. Connor Salter, Professional Writing alumnus from Taylor University, Upland, IN.

Title:

Hopeful Lament: Tending our Grief Through Spiritual Practices

Author:

Tara McDaniel

Publisher:

IVP Formatio (an imprint of Intervarsity Press)

http://InterVarsity Press

Publication Date:

October 10, 2023

Format:

Paperback

Length:

192 pages

OVERVIEW

We are often told that we grow through suffering. Still, certainly, no one wants to undergo great suffering. Terra McDaniel was not prepared for what happened when her family experienced a house fire, financial issues connected to the Bernie Madoff investment scam, and one of her daughters being in danger from a hostile ex-boyfriend. What she found in this Jobesque season was not only that she spiritually grew but something deeper. McDaniel discovered it is okay to express grief. As she relates her journey, she explains how the Book of Job and the history of the Christian church affirm that lamenting is not a problem. In fact, lamenting is something we must do to maintain mental health and achieve spiritual maturity and emotional healing. The struggle becomes how to do it well. McDaniel pairs the story of how she grew and recovered in this hard time with exercises that help us to lament well, from writing out scripture verses to journaling about the grief situation to group questions that help us process events.

Many Christian writers have recently explored the American struggle to talk about grief as a good thing and how to grieve healthily. There have been books about the biology of grieving and healing (Designed to Heal). Books about healing and recovering from national crises (God and the Pandemic). Not to mention a myriad of memoirs covering personal tragedies. All of these are interesting and useful books, but McDaniel finds a particularly useful niche with this book. Hopeful Lament is about her personal journey, and she tells her story well. She has clearly not only thought about her experience but had enough distance and healing time to write about it well—what Bob Hostetler calls writing from your scars instead of your open wounds. More than that, she uses church history and her experience as a spiritual director to give readers a sense of history. She discusses how past Christians have practiced lament, showing a long history of Christians learning how to express their pain in healthy ways. She is not simply showing them how to lament well, according to modern experts, but inviting them into a vision of how the historic church has explored grief. The result is more interesting than many books that feel so topical that they leave readers wondering if the books are offering a solution or a fad.

An exceptional guide to embracing healthy grief, written with candor and perspective.

ASSESSMENT

Rating (1 to 5 stars):

Five stars

Suggested Readers:

Christians seeking a practical look at how to grieve well, understand the history of lamenting, and enter the long Christian tradition of healing holistically.

Christian Impact:

McDaniel wisely sidesteps several mistakes that less experienced writers get stuck in. For one thing, as mentioned above, she writes in a balanced way about her pain, showing she has explored it enough to develop a healthy perspective on it. For another, she offers a variety of tried and often historic spiritual exercises. She also shows readers how to engage in their grief with others: some spiritual exercises can be done individually, while others require seeking a counselor’s feedback or engaging with family members who also experienced the trauma. By providing communal and individual exercises, McDaniel highlights our need to grow and heal in a community. There is a time for one-on-one time with God and a time to seek other Christians’ help. God individually loves us, and also calls us to be part of the body of Christ. McDaniel invites readers to lean into the body of Christ as they undergo the grieving process, not just handling it all themselves.

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